Turil

I am for you

Why do you deserve to be loved?

The laws of the universe require that emptiness needs filling.

Ideally, your parents and other close friends and family would have given you the answer to this when you were a baby and toddler. But many times even the adults who cared for you as a child didn’t even know the answer to why they, themselves, deserved to be loved. So many people spend much of their lives not being sure, and sometimes even doubting that they DO deserve to be loved.

These young people we hear about in the news, who committed suicide after being teased and bullied about their sexuality, most likely didn’t get the message about why they deserved to be loved. And hearing about these young people, one is reminded that the only education that is absolutely crucial, which a lack of renders all other education utterly useless, is indeed teaching people the answer to this question.

And it’s never too late. This is a lesson that can always be learned. It might not be as easy to learn as it was when our brains were completely absorbent and malleable as they were during our very first few years of life, but as long as we still have the capacity to learn anything as adults, then this is the single most valuable thing to focus on learning.

So what have you learned about the answer to…

Why do you deserve to be loved?

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And for a follow up, and my best answer, see my newer post: the reason why you deserve to be loved

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5 Comments»

  moonraven222 wrote @

I think that we all deserved to be loved simply for being human, that it is our birthright, and that most of us are loved far more than we know.

I totally agree that young people need to hear the message that they are loved unconditionally. No one should feel unloved and uncared for to the point that they can be persuaded by bullies that they are worthless, whether it’s because of their sexuality or anything else. Everyone is important and worthwhile and everyone deserves to be loved.

Thank you for posting this. This is important to remember.

  turil wrote @

Can you go into any more detail about why being a human gives one the right to being loved? I’m curious about your own beliefs. I’m also curious as to what might be the best way to answer this question for kids so that it really makes sense to them, and sticks with them.

  moonraven222 wrote @

I’m sorry to take so long to reply to this.

I like the phrase that Carl Rogers uses “unconditional positive regard” as my working definition of love. The key word for me is “unconditional”–this is why I believe that we all deserve love, because I think that real love comes without conditions. Everyone struggles, everyone suffers, and everyone knows at least a little joy. My belief is that we are all connected and since I think that everyone wants love, I don’t think that love is something that some people deserve and some people don’t. I’m not sure how you can make this clearer to kids except to tell them that everyone deserves love–and that includes them.

(Incidentally, part of my belief is that I deserve love as well and a good place to start is by loving myself. I find that many people find it easier to love their enemies than to love themselves!)

  turil wrote @

I’ll add this here, and at your journal as well…

I believe that the reason you, and all other life deserves to be loved is because when you are loved – and by that I mean being supported in getting the food, water, air, warmth, light, and freedom you need, to grow healthfully – you will be able to be your best possible self. And the world very much needs us ALL to be our best, so that we can all work together to find ways to meet the challenges that face our planet in the future.

  the reason why you deserve to be loved « Turil wrote @

[…] answering my recent question Why do you deserve to be loved?, I offer you the […]


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