I suggest that our biology defines our highest motivations in life to be to get enough healthy inputs so that we are able to procreate in some way — to create and pass on valuable information about how to survive and grow to individuals in the future. And I suggest that we do this procreation in a variety of ways:
genes – passing on information via physical, biological children
emes – passing on information via emotionally expressive movements such as art, smiling, yelling, music, etc.
memes – passing on information via intellectually symbolic language in the form of complex ideas
xemes – passing on information spiritually via cultural, mythological, and social traditions
So, it makes logical sense that the people that our brains are going to make us go all gooey for, the ones who we are going to be the most motivated to invest the majority of our extra resources in and spend the most time with, are going to be the people who seem to have the most potential to help us do one or more of these things. We biologically assess someone to see how well they will be able to help us pass on the most important information we’ve managed to collect in our lives up until this point in time.
It’s not terribly romantic sounding at this level of understanding, of course, but on a less detailed and less memetic level, love and procreation with those we love, are certainly the most powerful and moving experiences we can have as humans.
However, when love causes suffering, which it often does, it can indeed be useful, in a moment of calm reflection, to look at what’s going on in a more detailed, scientific way, so that it can all be understood, and so that problems that exist on an emotional or physical level can be solved in a more rational, intellectual way.
In which case, you might be interested in taking a calm, reflective moment — after you’ve had some healthy greens to eat, gotten a drink of clean water, and taken a few deep, oxegenating breaths of fresh air — as you consider which of these ways the ones you love seem to move you to create.
Do you want to make a baby with them because they have physical qualities that really complement your own physical traits that you think the world needs more of? (One way your body tells you this is that they smell good to you! Though you don’t have to make a baby with everyone who smells good to you, as making babies takes more resources than pretty much all other kinds of procreation, and is the most risky investment you can probably ever make, since babies are very fragile packages of information :-)
Or, do you want to smile at them and sing songs with them or make giant sculptures of sad robots with them?
Or, do you have the great desire to do research, politics, or lead an organization with them?
Or do you want to change the whole world, in some grand and majestic way, with them by your side?