Turil

I am for you

response able

having someone in the palm of your hand is just an illusion

It’s a myth that one can be responsible for someone else in the popular sense of protecting them from harm. Not only is it often impossible to actually do, it’s also often harmful in and of itself, as it restricts their freedom, and makes it difficult for them to grow naturally, in the way that is right for them.

However, as the wonderful Fred Kofman suggests, you can be “response able” to others, in the more literal sense of simply being able to respond to their requests for help. So when you find yourself with the idea that you are responsible for someone else, remember that the best you can do, and what is best for you to do, is to find ways to be able to respond to whatever it is they are asking for, especially those basic needs of food, water, air, warmth, and light, so that they can more easily get where they are most interested in going, as they explore their world and learn about themselves and their unique talents and skills.

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2 Comments»

  moonraven222 wrote @

Very true. I’m not familiar with Fred Kofman, but it seems very similar to what Fritz Perls claimed, that ‘responsibility’ is simply the ability to respond. Helping others to get what they need is probably the only way we can be responsible for someone else.

Thanks for writing this.

  turil wrote @

Yeah, as a teacher, this is something I see as a major source of confusion when it comes to the relationships of adults and children. In too many adults, there is such a fear that “Something might go wrong!” and that the adult will be blamed (by others and by themselves) that they do some really destructive things. I really want to help people find better ways to think about what their job in life is (including when it comes to being a parent or teacher or friend). Of course, the best way to do this, from what I can tell, is help people get their basic physiological needs met. (Which is the solution to everything, when I really think about it :-) It’s just a behavior that I’m going to have to really concentrate on doing, as I work my way into being a truly successful professional healer!


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