It’s a popular misconception that transcendence and enlightenment are about destroying the ego and becoming selfless. But a more useful way to think about this higher state of unconditional loving-kindness is by considering that everyone and everything is the self.
Once you reach this level of awareness, taking care of yourself is also taking care of everyone else, and taking care of everyone else is also taking care of yourself.
And rather than feeling self “less” you are easily able to feel selffull, and the selfeshness of wanting to eliminate your own suffering becomes the ultimate in love for the universe and all the beings in it.
The last time my husband told me what he wanted, he said he only wanted me to be happy. And I realize that when I take good care of myself, and when I experience joy, I’m also taking good care of him and allowing him to experience joy, and I understand that our self is very much deserving of universal love and that I am the one who can offer it to us, so it is what I continue to work towards with all my energy.